8:24 pm CST
I’m back. As mentioned previously, the week before last I had a lot of computer problems. Well, this past week it got worse. Finally, last Monday, the computer crashed. Today I got a new, and better, computer. So this website is now back in business. Starting tomorrow morning, I will resume updating this website on a daily basis and will make up for lost time …

5:37 pm CST
LOS BRAZOS DE DIOS
Part Two

My companion for the excursion was my friend Jim. We went way back, he and I, having met in the sixth grade when I moved to Cleburne, Texas, in 1965. Later, after I married and moved away from Cleburne, we remained close friends and saw each other often. Since the divorce, I had made the three-hour trip from Austin to Cleburne several times to hang out at Jim's. We would sit on his Spaceship Patio at night, talking, reading our poetry, philosophizing, solving the world's problems, and in the daytime go on long drives around Johnson County and surrounding counties, continuing our conversation.

It was on one of these drives, west of Cleburne on Highway 67, that we crossed the Brazos River-the greatest of Texas rivers, 840 miles long and rich with history-that Jim described his experience, a few years earlier, canoeing down the river.

Canoeing on the Brazos was something I had never done. From earliest childhood, I had swum in the river, fished on the river, and camped on its banks, and, as a teenager, had smoked my first joint by campfire one January night in 1969 by the river, but never had I canoed on the river.

Listening to Jim talk about canoeing on the Brazos, I grew excited. Before he had finished, nothing would do but I have the experience. Thus, Jim and I made plans for our canoe trip.

So, in the sixth month of my New Life-June 1997, to be exact-we loaded up my car with a well-stocked ice chest, sacks of food, and camping equipment, and drove down Highway 67 from Cleburne to the Brazos River.

It was not our intention, you understand, to repeat John Graves' experience, as recounted in his classic book Goodbye To A River-that is, to canoe the entire length of the Brazos. Our plan, rather, was to do what Jim and a few of his friends had done a few years earlier: rent a canoe near the Highway 67 crossing and navigate only a section of the river. We would canoe all day, find a place to camp for the night, then finish our excursion the next day.

As I said, it had been an unusually rainy spring, and on the morning we drove to the river the sky was gray and sprinkling rain. However, the weather forecast promised a clear day, thus we were undeterred from our adventure.

We stopped at a canoe rental place near the Highway 67 bridge. The woman behind the counter was happy to see us. "Ain't had much business lately," she said, "what with all this rain and folks being afraid to get out on the river."

"It is safe right now, isn't it?" Jim asked.

She was busy with the paperwork and did not seem to hear his question, so Jim asked again. To which she responded, "Oh, sure it is! There’s no rapids on this stretch of river. Buddy, get in here and help these fellers!"

Buddy was a big, friendly guy who wore a straw cowboy hat. He helped us load the shiny, silver metal canoe and all our stuff into the back of his pickup, and drove us down a bumpy, dirt road to the place where we were to begin our journey.

Jim remembered Buddy from the last canoeing trip, and asked if Buddy remembered him. "I sure do!" said Buddy, grinning. Then he grew serious and said, "Uh, that feller you was with-did he live?"

"Yeah," said Jim, "we got him to the hospital. It was just a little heat stroke."

"Well, I'm glad to hear he lived. Hope you brought plenty of water this time, and hats."

"Sure did," said Jim, laughing.

As we drove along, the sprinkling ceased, and the clouds began breaking apart. Just as the weatherman had predicted, it was turning into a fine, sunny June morning-reminiscent of many such mornings in the past, with school just out and the prospect of the entire summer ahead, like a kingdom waiting to be conquered. My heart soared.

At the boat launch, we unloaded the pickup and said goodbye to Buddy. "See ya'll tomorrow!" he said, waving from his pickup. "Just pull the canoe up under the bridge when you get back and come get me."

We loaded the canoe with our stuff, climbed in, and glided out into the sparkling, fast-moving river …

(To be continued)

12:11 pm CST
Today's News Roundup:

Zombie Drugs for the Troops and the Masses—and You

Whitewash of LBJ's Role in JFK Killing Begins

The Fear President

10:38 am CST
DREAM: On a tour bus, flying several feet off the ground, passing through Disney studios, where the cartoons and movies were made, now deserted, buildings empty, with windows broken and graffiti spray-painted on the sides: a red, crudely-drawn, pornographic Mickey Mouse catches my eye. Crossing a field of grass, the bus climbs higher. I see palm trees and a cemetery ahead, the Pacific Ocean sparkling beyond. We pass over graves of movie stars no one remembers; names once sought after by autograph hounds now engraved on tombstones catching bird droppings. A choir sounding like the Beach Boys sadly sings a beautiful hymn:

The palms stood there like guardians of the sun
And the air was sweet and warm.
Then the sun turned red
And bled upon the clouds,
And night fell softly through the palms …

Waking in the shadows of a cold room, the song haunts me. I play it over and over in my mind, in hopes I will be able to remember it next morning. Getting out of bed, I peer through the blinds; it snowed, as the weatherman predicted, one-inch in the Austin area, a light dusting on the grass and shrubbery, glowing under the street lamp. It is silent as a tomb outside, silent inside as well, except for the haunting hymn: The palms stood there like guardians of the sun …

11:33 am CST
A few Hot Links:

Increasing attention is being paid to the persident's non-service in the National Guard. From the Boston Globe, this story: Bush's Loss of Flying Status Should Have Spurred Probe. And, in this AP story we learn that, while he was Governor of Texas, George W. Bush, had his National Guard files destroyed

A reader sent me this very disturbing article which describes how members of the Center for Constitutional Rights, Peace Action, War Times (a San Francisco-based antiwar magazine), Ralph Nader's Green Party presidential campaign, Catholic peace activists, and the Eagle Forum, are being labeled "terrorists" by the government and placed on "no-fly" lists. This is just the beginning. Wait till CAPPS II is instituted this summer.

Brian Roper, my fellow Texan (and fellow Disciple of Icky Twerp), has started a new column, Cranky the Clown, which I highly recommend. Read it on Brian's great website File 23. Also check out Brian's article about Icky Twerp on the same site, so you will know what I'm talking about. (If you grew up in the Dallas-Fort Worth area in the 1950s and 60s you already know what I'm talking about, but read the article anyway.)

10:51 pm CST
I ain't gonna' lie to you, folks. It's been a hard week. A hard week on the planet. Planet Mack … Buying a car is hard. But it's life, so I'll not complain … Computer problems also a pain. I lost my old In Box, and lots of email addresses. So, anyone who hasn't heard from me lately, please drop me a line. But I'm philosophical: Technology is a great convenience—the Greatest, in fact. Until it breaks down. Then you wish you'd never heard of Email and had stayed with pen and paper and postage stamps, or carrier pigeons … The inability to update my website has been an aggravation, too. Lots of news stories, also lots of interesting dreams …

Like this one: A cop with a ventriloquist dummy, reminding me of Officer Friendly, the ventriloquist cop who hosted a kids' show on Channel 4 in Dallas in the 60s. His dummy was a Donald Duck clone named Jimmy Duck: "Jimmy Duckle, Waddle Waddle" the catch-phrase in this dim, and growing dimmer, tv memory. Except the cop in the dream is Not Friendly, and I make the mistake of smiling happily when he and his dummy pass by. He turns and says, "Don't smile at me so cocky," and taking out a black marker writes something on my mouth and tongue, adding, "Now you are marked as a Troublemaker. Now we can spot you wherever you go …"

Another dream: Someone points to a house, saying, "A cannibal lives there. His roommate hasn't been seen for days." Scene shifts to inside the house. The cannibal takes his roommate out of the freezer. As the roommate thaws out, he opens his eyes and says, "You ate my toes." The cannibal responds: "I didn't think you needed them anymore." "Of course I need them." "Well, I'm sorry." A minute passes, then the cannibal says: "May I eat your legs?" "What?!" The cannibal says, "I thought, as long as you're missing your toes, why not take your legs." "Forget it." "I'll pay you for them." "How much?" "A million dollars." The audience roars with laughter. A tv executive says, "I think we got a hit." Later, when I wake up, I find a news story on the Internet about the recently convicted German cannibal receiving offers from film companies to film his life story …

Another dream on the same night: I discover I'm pregnant. How can this be? I'm a man. The doctor says, "Yes, it is rare, but it does happen sometimes." I (stunned) say: "Wow. And I thought my stomach had gotten big because I'd been eating too many carbs." "No, you're pregnant," says the doctor. But still I am doubtful: "Are you sure it's not some—(gulp)—some gigantic tumor in my stomach?" "No, Mr. White, the sonogram shows that you have a healthy baby boy in your stomach. Congratulations. It should be born in about 30 minutes. Excuse me. I'll be right back." The doctor leaves to take care of an emergency. I sit there, trying to adjust to the idea that in less than an hour I will become both father and mother to a child. Gosh, I think, I wish I'd known I was pregnant. I would've stopped drinking and started eating healthier. Then it occurs to me that I do not have a vagina. How will the baby be born? My god, I think, THE DOCTOR IS GOING TO HAVE TO CUT ME OPEN--at which I wake up, heart pounding, then gradually realize, with a sigh of relief, that it was only a dream, most likely brought on by empathy with my daughter who gave birth to her own daughter a few weeks ago. Then back to sleep …

And later, driving through the driving rain down MoPac, my vision blurring as I thought about my best friend hurting, and how, later, I found my best friend sitting on the back porch, smoking, alone, and crying, mascara running down gentle cheeks—so pitiful in the gray light and gloom of Police State America. And how my heart broke for my best friend, and is still breaking, and how I wish I could do something, but know I cannot—know I am powerless against the injustice in the world. I can do nothing but tell my best friend that I am here, always, loving and caring. And sending prayers to Heaven, and wondering if anyone is listening …

Another dream: Utah, last summer, and how the mountains reminded me of Angkor Wat, but larger, vaster ruins in the desert. I look up at a towering endless mountain whose summit cannot be seen, and my heart soars. Then, the scene shifts to the interior of a great cathedral, where I sense a power, dark and ancient, in my grasp. Armed with this power, I wish Destruction by Fire on the one who hurt my best friend—but, at the last minute turn away from the dark power, and surrender to another power, trusting that this power, the power of Love, will rectify things, and rectify them better. Then, flying through the long cathedral windows to cities in the sky, knowing …

8:42 pm CST
SMiles Elfis, Proprietor of Elfis Net, has just posted these MP3 files of some of my old radio interviews:

Robert Larson's Cartoon Pleroma interview on KUCI 88.9 FM in Irvine, California (11/26/00): Part A, Part B, and Part C

Smiles Lewis' Radio:Free:Elfis interview (3/12/01): HERE.

Coming Soon: Angela Keaton's interview with me a few weeks ago on her KOOP FM program Liberated Space. Stay tuned …

8:25 pm CST
TODAY'S NEWS ROUNDUP:

The Mystery of George W. Bush's National Guard Non-Service

Video: Bush Refuses to Talk about the Skull and Bones Society

Video: Alex Jones Exposes the Bush-Kerry/Skull and Bones Link

Week 2 in the Janet Jackson Saga (Keeping You A Breast of the Latest Developments):

Oscar Tape Delay Angers Academy: Frank Peterson, president of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, says: "Once the principle of a delay has been accepted, though, how much broader a scope might be sought in subsequent years, and how long before not only words but ideas become subject to deletion?"

10:14 pm CST
Blogging has been sporadic the past several days, due to a combination of computer problems and the necessity of buying a car. However, the car is now bought, and the few lingering computer problems should be resolved soon …

Here are a few headlines the major media, in its zeal to keep you informed of the latest developments regarding Janet Jackson's breast, may have forgotten to tell you …

More than 10,000 Civilians Dead in Iraq So Far

Two More Bioscientists Die

Legislator's bill urges two-child limit

'Embedding' CIA Agents Within Local Police Depts

7:18 pm CST
A READER WRITES: This whole Janet Jackson deal has been so blown out of proportion it makes me sick. I tend to agree with your take on the matter as you have posted. I also think the Huxley quote is right on the money. However, I tend to think that Alex Jones has the right idea about this sort of thing as well. He states that whenever we see these massive media-hyped events, it often is a smokescreen. Basically, the government is doing something behind the scenes that they don't want us to look into, so they create the distraction of the week to keep us focused on meaningless things like Janet Jackson's little peepshow. I wonder what piece of "anti-terrorism" legislation they're trying to ramrod through the system right now while the majority of mind-numbed Americans are searching the internet to get a second look at those knockers?

I agree. These controversies that regularly pop up to consume air time and newsprint serve multiple purposes, one being Distraction. In this morning's edition of the local newspaper, there were more letters to the editor on the subject of Janet Jackson, and the stats for this website show that people are still searching the Internet for a second peep (as if one wasn't enough). Speaking of Alex Jones, anyone who missed his interview last week with Andreas von Buelow, the former top German cabinet minister who blames the CIA for the September 11 terror attacks, can hear it HERE. Von Buelow has written a best selling book, Die CIA und der 11 September, so far unavailable in English translation.